It is that season of love again and the writer in me thought of sharing about the magic of falling in love! Well, my conception about love has kept changing over the years but something has never changed is - “To be in love and to be loved are the two best feelings on earth”. In today’s world when we chase time for money and when relationships take a backseat it is that bliss of falling in love that guides us to joy and make our lives worth living. Love is universal for it transcends cast, religion, language and creed. Valentine’s day is celebrated across the globe because people realize the magic of falling in love..When I say magic I mean it and you have to fall in love to believe it. At the outset wishing all the lucky couples a Happy Valentine’s day! And to those who have given up finding your love,I wish let your love find you! I’m sure Cupid is right there working a surprise for you this Valentine’s day!

For all those who are wondering when love blooms, make it clear Love happens only at first sight..few realize it at that moment, few take a chance to know them better giving a relationship tag as friend, colleague etc.. and realize it later, few never understand it and keep sulking they are not lucky to fall in love..Even today when I meet young couples they vividly remember their first meet and describe those magical moments as if it just happened yesterday..The way he/she was attracted to her/him.. the way she talked..the way she smiled..the way she carried herself..for people who were connected over internet, they still remember the first lively chat they had..So love starts with attraction, at first sight! At that moment of destiny you understand that exclusive connect you feel with her and blush off thinking why it never happened with anyone else before. You hear those bells chiming..those bulbs glowing.. those butterflies in your stomach and you enjoy those Aska-laska moments.

Maybe it could have never happened to you.. But wait..Love demands us to be patient for it will happen for once in everyone’s life. As a great man always says “Dream..dream to succeed”..It doesn’t apply just for life,but for love too. You need to be determined you will fall in love and the rest will fall in place. You can’t build a wall across your heart and keep waiting for someone to break it.. For all the years you have lived, there must be someone impressed by you or you have impressed someone. It is time you introspect yourself..look back at the diary of your life and flip through those beautiful pages and you will realize she was the girl with whom you knew it would work.. It is never late even now..Let her know atleast now you loved her and you still love her. At the end of the day it is not about she accepting or rejecting your proposal but atleast letting her know you love her.. You never really know..That might be the only word she was waiting for all these years..

Looking back, it is not about winning or losing in love,it is all about falling in love and feeling the MAGIC of love. You just cant force love to happen for love is spontaneous, involuntary and it will happen when you least expect it to! It is love only when two people have the same feelings at the same time.. Acquainting with people, over the years I realized everybody has someone with whom they believed it could happen. They speak so honestly about their “feelings” for her to their friends but they never get the guts to enact that moment of bravery and honesty of telling her the same to transform that “just” feelings to love.

Don’t ever put your ego or dignity ahead of your love and become the Anisha of my short shory-Unspoken words of love.I’m sure this read would have given you the confidence to take your relationship forward and what better day to start it with than this Valentine’s day! May the magic of romance always find you and fill your heart with wonder at the amazing power love has to transform us all.

...From my cute little brother

The author has left Chennai for some official work for a month and this is a letter written by his cute little brother to him.

Dear Benny Chetta,

How are you?Where are you? When will you come back? Lots of questions in my mind. But I don’t have a reply yet! I still, vividly remember the day,you carried a huge baggage with you bidding bye to me and our parents.You spoke lots to me before you left,but I understood nothing.I never thought it will take so many days for you to return.I’m waiting for you here.

The ball is lying on the floor,with no one to throw to me and play.Sis is happily watching the TV,as there is no one to fight with her for the remote.Mom is busy with her household works,so is dad with his office works. I’m getting used to sleep alone in our bed without hugging you and without switching ON the A\c. I’m becoming more disciplined in the dining table as I don’t dare to take those chicken pieces from others plate as I,happily, do from yours. I’m deprived of the early morning walks with you,as I have become lazy, sleeping all day. I know our parents and sis take care of me,but still I’m missing Benny Chetta’s affection and care!

Dad and mom speak about you every night,but I hardly understand what they speak.I go to bed thinking of you and expecting you will surprise me,coming tomorrow morning. But as the day dawns,as usual I’m cheated. I ponder on the good old days we spend together teasing our sis,making our parents shout at the silly things we do at home, watching movies sitting on your lap, sharing our breakfast. Lots of cute memories to cherish for a life time.Missing you Benny Chetta!

Your friends no longer come home to visit me. Do they have any problem or they are just afraid of me still ?? Why don’t they understand I care for them as much I care for you,though I intimidate them
at times.It’s my duty you see :D I guess they are missing you,just like me. I’m not getting those biscuits which your girl friend usually brings,trying to coax me! Non-vegetarian dishes have become a rarity at home,these days, as sis hates that and mom is bored preparing! So when will you be back? I very badly,need those biscuits and chicken pieces! I’m already losing weight! ;-)

I have neither got a chance to tell you how much I love you nor I can do it also.If my memories are sharp,I still remember the day I was brought to your house as a kid,the nights you helped me sleep,caring for me without limits,taking me out to show how the world looks like,feeding me and help me grow faster.Someone told me the other day I was 6 yrs old and I was shocked.Days have passed by so fast and I don’t know how long I will stil live
on this earth,as I’m getting older by the passing day! So I want you to be here with me sharing all your joys and sorrows as you always do with me! I want to hear your voice Chetta!

My inner conscience feels gulity,thinking if I was the reason for you going out of our house.If so,I promise not to bug you again….not to disturb you in your sleep,not to touch your dining plate again,not to bark at your friends anymore, not to take your shoes and socks and make you run after me. Forgive me Bro if I was wrong. Anyways I’m your cute,little bro with little knowledge na! Who else on earth can be as nice as you were to me! I want you back in my life.Please come back soon!

Where ever you are,what ever you are doing, have that sunshine smile with you! I love that smile of yours, Cheta!

P.S:I have a attached a pic of me,brooding...Atleast see that and come back Benny Chetta!

Cheers

Yours loving brother,

Tinku

FOOT NOTE: This is only post which brought a drop of tear in my eyes,after I completed writing! As I’m leaving to Hyderabad in a fortnight,I will surely miss my cute bro! Guys,having a faithful pet like a dog is a blessed and the nicest thing which can happen to you in your life time! Be blessed!

…Those memorable 60 days!!!

This post has been selected by Blogadda as the best post in their "Spicy Saturday Picks" column..Thanks a lot!

One of my blog friend has made this story into a short film.You can check the video after reading the story @ http://mumbaiwarriors.blogspot.com/2010/06/online-friend.html

This is just another fictional story.Characters and incidents used here are just fictitious and not intended to offend anyone! So let’s get started now!

It was a foggy Saturday morning and the sun was lazy to rise,so was I to get up from my bed.Somehow I got up,by 8:15, after my mom seriously threatened me that she will give my breakfast to Tinku! After brushing and having my breakfast,I sat in front of my computer.I was,of late,fascinated by these virtual friendships,as my friends keep speaking about the beauty of having such a friend! I wanted to give it a try and as it was a holiday,I logged into my Yahoo messenger chat rooms-The Holy land of perverts! I havn’t done much of online chatting before,as I had no time or no interest in this!But today I was..! My instincts kept on saying that I will end up with a good online friend today!

As soon as I entered the chat room, a message popped up on my screen which invited me to view the webcams of some pretty gals! My dirty mind started to work and I was amazed by the genorosity of these girls,who voluntarily invited me to see them strip off ! Gracious indeed :D..But before I could get real horny,I understood it was just a spam :D Smiling to myself,I waited to see if someone was interested to chat with me.At that moment of destiny,I got a message from presumably a girl,who wished me good morning and started a chat! Yeah,..I was right,she was a Chennai girl-Meera,an engineer,who like any other girl was mad about dogs!

Somehow,she added me as her friend before she went offline.We just chatted for 10 minutes,but it was so lively,atleast lively for me,for that was my first proper chat online. As I got one friend for the day,I too logged off pretty soon! The weekend flew so fast,that I even forgot I made a virtual friend.When I came to check my mails on Sunday night,she was there,reminding me of the friendship I made! As I had to sleep soon,that night,I told her that I will chat with her tomorrow,after I come back from work.She obliged! You would not believe me,I was excited when I was returning back from work,the next day.I was thinking if she would be there online,what should I speak with her?? It was an unusual thought,which sparked in my mind that day, as I never had a virtual friend before. When I logged in,to my surprise,she was there!

She said she was waiting for me so long.Now I had to believe that! I apologized for making her wait and then started to chat.It was about how the day went,bla bla.. She had so many topics to chat,as I never found the converstaion boring! In an over-enthusiasm,I shared my picture and I guess she liked those. She did not share her picture,though! The chat lasted for more than 3 hours,before which she realised it was so late ;-) I was getting sort-of-addicted to chatting with Meera,as we continued to chat almost every day and with every passing day,we became very close.I must confess Meera has gracefully walked into my life,now!One day,she even revealed she had a big liking towards my french beard! **wink** After lots of coaxing,she gave me her mobile number.I was happy,as I knew for sure,she trusted me!

It was almost a fortnight,since we became friends and now,I felt I must call her and I did. Words just fall short explaining the excitement,relief and the happiness that engulfed me when I dialled her number and waited for her to attend. When she attended the call I said,”This is Benny”.There was a stunned silence from the other end for some 10 seconds,before which a big laugh broke the silence as she quipped,”So this is Meera. Atlast you dared to call me. I havn’t spoken to any of my virtual friends till date”. Those words made me feel special.She,as usual started to speak on every topic-lifestyle,culture,career,romance etc..etc… Her voice sounded very girlish and I was afraid if I would be the first guy to fall in love with a girl,just hearing her voice! I have this dubious record to boast of,for the longest call I have ever made is for 5 minutes.If it exceeded that, the only words which comes from my mouth is “Hmm..Hmmm..then” Honestly I have always felt I needed someone to teach me how to speak over a phone and now, Meera was there to teach me and break all my records,as the time I spend over the phone increased like a geometric progression in Mathematics,so did my phone bill ;-) Suddenly our chats online,became rare,as we were over the phone most of the time!

I must acknowledge,I was changing! She made me read novels,for she loved it…For a pathetic reader like me,finishing two novels in a week is a big thing. She made me speak..speak something and she made me laugh at the her silly jokes,which never sounded like a joke to me,two weeks ago;-) She gave me the feel,that I was looking smart,praising my french beards and my looks, everytime we spoke.My mirror became my best friend,as I spend the whole night looking at my “smart” face and doing something to my french beard! I’m just happy these mirrors don’t have mouths! :P I smiled involuntarily when her name flashed on my mobile! And there was that irresistable excitement,when I took my mobile to call her! Yeah..I’m changing! My friends started to see that change and often commented that I’m infected by “that” virus,which is so dangerous than H1N1.. Hope you guys know “that” virus I’m referring to ;-)

It was tough to dream about a girl,whom you have never seen and have no idea how she looks! Meera made it very clear that she was not going to send me her picture,as she told me to wait for that day,when we will meet in reality! It was 28 days since we knew each other and now I was asked to go to Hyderabad for my new job’s training! Thankfully,the training was just for a week.I told Meera,the same and told her that I will contact her after a week,as I knew the training was going to be tough and I will have no time to speak with her! She accepted not to disturb me the whole week!

The one week at Hyderabad was so demanding,but that did not deter me from thinking about her.I called her on alternate days and spoke for few minutes.I felt,she was not well,as her voice revealed that and she was in no mood to speak with me properly! I hated that..She acted differently the whole week and this puzzled me.After I reached home,after my training,I called her as I usually do at night and she was in a pensive mood. I havn’t heard Meera speaking so seriously and I wanted to make her smile! I did it and when she was smiling,I asked her,”So when will I meet u?” “Don’t worry.You will meet me before I die” she said and smiled.”Oh..That will take years.I can’t wait that long”,I said in a raised tone.”Well I understand.So now tell me the Meera you have imagined?” she asked me politely.I started,”Well you are quite literally my dream girl.I have dreamt of a Meera, like an angel,claded in a white dress,with a cherub face,pink cheeks,cute smile,long hairs and ofcourse beautiful in my eyes”. “Ha! That’s too much Benny.But I’m sure you won’t be cheated when you see me” and laughed! She then started to speak about her dream guy,her dreams,aspirations!! I said,” Meera,you are really ambitious.I wish all your dreams come true”.She smiled and said,”Thanks.But Benny,do you think I’m lucky enough?” I quipped,”If you weren’t lucky enough,you wouldn’t have ended up with me”.She smiled and said as usual,”Ha..This is too much Benny” and getting emotional she opined she was having the best moments of her life with me and that I was the best guy,with whom she has ever acquainted with! It was already 1’o clock and I was feeling asleep! I told her I was going to bed.She said,”Do you really wanna sleep.I want to talk with you..keep on talking.I feel comfortable speaking with you”.But I insisted that I had to get up early tomorrow and I went to bed.

The next day,when I called her,she did not attend it or replied to my message.I was puzzled!!! It continued for a week..She never attended my call.I did not know what was wrong!I send offline messages in messenger,”I’m waiting here..When will u come online??”There was no reply in messenger too.I was getting irritated and confused,by the way Meera behaved!May be if felt that's the plight of virtual friendship,where I hardly knew something more than her mobile number to track her!And today was 50 days since I knew Meera. I wanted to wish her and called her,with the expectation she will attend atleast today.Finally my call was attended,but to my surprise there was a male voice.”Hello.Can I speak to Meera” I asked. ”I’m Meera’s dad speaking. Meera is admitted at the cancer institute.” he revealed.”What??” I asked shockingly.”Ya.She is suffering from leukemia and we diagonised it only the last week”. I was speechless,petrified.I had my uncle who was an oncologist working at the same institute. I called him and asked if he knew about any patient named Meera.Surprisingly,he said,she was his patient and revealed that Meera was counting her days,as her cancer,which was in the final stages was diagonised only the last week.All my dreams were shattered as I did not know what to do.

I reached the cancer institute within an hour.I took the novel,”Walk to Remember”, which she urged me to read umpteen times and the novel which I wanted to present Meera,when I first meet her.I checked the ward she was in and went there.She was lying in her bed,completely claded in white costume.But this was not the angel,I dreamt to see during my first meeting! I entered the room,with my eyes filled with tears and I stood infront of her.She gazed at me and I said looking into her curious eyes,”I’m Benny”.There was a pin drop silence,as she looked at me with a sense of thankfulness and gratitude and tears started flowing from her eyes,as she trembled in her words,”Benny,I knew I will meet you before I die.Din’t I tell u that??”. I had no words to speak,tears filled my eyes.”Benny,do I look beautiful now.Have I cheated you??”she asked looking straight into my eyes.I knelt before the bed,she was lying and kissed her palm and broke down.She said,”Benny your french beard looks great for you,as I expected” and tried to smile! I did not speak a word! I gave her the novel which I brought to give her! Strangely the climax of the novel was enacted infront of my eyes!

I was not able to see Meera like that,as I bid good bye to her and jumped out of the room.Her dad was waiting outside and I hugged him as I found solace in his heavy shoulders,so did he! “Meera has spoken lots of things about you.She did not want you to know about this.But as the doctors have lost hope,I thought I should tell you and I attended your call today. We never took her problems seriously and we were late to diagonize this” I did not know what to tell.I just said,”Let’s hope for the best.Miracles do happen.Trust in God” and left the place.

I never went to the hospital again.I used to hear about Meera’s health from my uncle.He never said something positively.I knew Meera would have wanted me to be with her,but my heart was not build of stone to see her suffer infront of my eyes.After exactly a week,after I met her,I heard the news,which I never wanted to hear in my life.Her father informed me about her funeral,but I never went for that,as my angel and dream girl lived in my heart forever! The last phone call,we did,kept flashing in my heart,where she urged me to keep on speaking with her the whole night.I understood the meaning of every word she uttered,in what was our final phone call:-( Her words ,”This is too much Benny”, kept echoing as I wept and muttered,”This is too much Meera.You left me”… But I still keep sending offline messages to my only “virtual” friend,”I’m waiting here..When will u come online,Meera ??”

“It’s hard to let go off someone who had touched your life;
But it hurts more to let go off someone who was never yours,yet changed your life the most”

….Really unrealistic!!!

This story has not happened in my life, has not happened in anyone’s life,will never happen in anyone’s life also.But I’m sure at the end of the story everyone will wish why not this happen in our life ;-) So Let’s get started! And yeah.. if u possess a very brilliant,realistic or a skeptical mind please keep it aside for sometime and then start reading!

When was the last time you saw a girl and wondered, “Hey I have seen her somewhere..who is she?” and crushed your brain cells. It happened to me the last week when I was waiting to board the train at Bangalore station on my journey back to Chennai.It was 10:35PM and the awesome chill weather of Bangalore was having its say on her dressing.She was wearing a white sweater with a striking black jean and was shivering,waiting for the train.Holding her ipod on one hand,shuffling the songs,her ears were plugged with the headsets.She was holding a woman’s magazine in the other hand,though she never bothered to even open that,till then! She occasionally kissed her fist and that mannerism again reminded me of someone.I gave it a hard thought,but I wasn’t able to recognize her.She had all the features that kept me warm in that cold night ;-) I checked my watch and I was assured there was 20 minutes left for the train to arrive and I continued to ogle.At one moment she caught my eyes and I felt damn embarrased and I took an about turn,as if I was searching for someone else ! I moved away from the place for a few minutes just to avoid her.By the time I finished a cup of tea,I saw my train enter the platform.

When I returned to the place I saw her,to my surprise,she wasn’t there.My eyes kept searching for her,as I entered the coach and got settled in the seat reserved for me. I was not able to find her and I was convinced yet another cloud has passed! But suddenly through the window,I saw her..saw her in the waiting room being laid and a few people crowded around her.Shocked,I got out of the train and went near the room,where she was nursed.By the time I went there,she had recovered.She got up and was gazing at everyone.Somewhere inside the heart I felt relieved!!! I got back to my seat and the train was about to start.To my nightmare she came and sat in the seat opposite to me! Oh My God! I felt very guilty and crashed into the upper berth and tried to sleep. I pondered,atleast I must have asked how she was feeling now,out of courtesy! :-( But I wasn’t able to! I tried to sleep but only her face kept running through my mind ! I looked down at her through my half-dozed eyes.She was still sitting,contemplating ! May be about what happened to her in the station! It was half past 12 and I was fast asleep by then!

I slept so badly that I did not even realise that the train had reached Chennai Central.I was woken up by someone and then did I realise I had to get down! Very fast I did my silent prayer,took my baggage and got down the train.Chennai was as usual bright and it was 2 months since I came home and I was excited to be here again! As soon as I got down,there was a surprise.She was standing there,smiling at me!Only now I recognised the face which woke me up in the train.I went near her and said “Thanks”. “It’s ok.You must have been tired” she replied as her voice again sounded like someone’s whom I know very well.Without thinking much I asked,”So how are you feeling now?What happened yesterday?” .She continued to walk along with me,keeping her smile intact and replied “I fainted seeing you”.Knowing that she was kidding I sardonically said “My friends say I have killer looks,but this is too much!” She started to laugh that drew the attention of a couple of children sitting there.They winked at me and I reciprocated! I partially understood why the wink was from those cute children. Yeah..The girl walking with me was so graceful and smart that even those children understood she is too much for me! ;-) But poor children! They din’t know she was just my co-passenger and still a stranger!

Hmm..by now,she finished laughing and said,”No.I’m serious Rahul” . ”Rahul??”…”Who is that?” I interrogated. “You” she said as we kept walking to catch our connecting train to reach our destination! “No yaar. I’m Benny” I clarified.She shook her head in disapproval and quizzed me,”Do you believe in rebirths?” The next moment,without much thought I said “No..no…I don’t ” She looked straight into my eyes and said “I too did not believe in rebirths before I saw your face yesterday night”. She sounded serious now and a sense of shock crept within me as I feared if I,really,was the reason for her fainting yesterday night.I trembled and asked ,”What did you see in my face”?

We did not speak for few minutes as we got the connecting train to reach our respective places.It was early morning in Chennai and the train was unusually calm and sparsely crowded.We sat facing each other near the window! I suddenly noticed a mole beneath her nose..no no above her lips ;-) It has always been a turn-on factor for me when I see a girl! As I was admiring her,she started revealing, “Hey...I saw my boyfriend’s face in you..the same face and the same guy whom I loved in my previous birth!” I was shocked but din’t want to show it as I replied,” So are you ok??? You sound senseless now”? She acknowledged,”Ya.I know.But u must believe this” as she showed a scar in her left hand.Getting excited seeing that I quipped,”Same pinch..even I have one” and showed my scar in the left hand.She quizzed, ”Shut up You!..Do you know the history behind this?” “….Hmmm.I always ask my mother about this.But she says it is there from my birth and she can’t help it!” I mumbled.

She cleared her throat and started ”Oh..How come she know our past?”. I was excited as she sounded as if she really knew my past and said ”Past…So do u know mine?” She nodded and said “Your past was with me.How come I don’t know that?” and continued “ I seriously remember a few moments I spend with you in my last birth.You were my close friend during my college time.We spend most of our times together at college,walking with hands locked,helping me out at everything,fighting with me..even for the silliest thing…Hmmm we showcased to the world what true friendship is.I just get a blurred vision of what happened next.It is like… you proposed to me one day and I started crying and after so many days I accepted you as my boyfriend. And I’m not sure what happened inbetween.Just remember we engraved our names in our hands,which are these scars in this birth and we ended our life”..”Now do u remember anything?” she politely asked.”Hmm..Yeah I can remember!This is the same story of the latest tamil flick I watched” I joked trying to bring down the over running emotion from her side!

She hit my head and said,”Rubbish..trust me Rahul”… I got serious hearing Rahul ”Please call me Benny.I don’t know Rahul or the stories you are telling.Hey how come you,alone, remember all the things that happened in your previous birth” I asked in a irritated voice…She seeing me serious,quipped,”I have read in one of Plato’s work that after our death in our previous birth,our soul passes through a hot desert and then it drinks water from the lake nearby.By drinking that water,we forget what happened in our previous birth.May be I cheated the Gods’ and din’t drink that water”.” You cheat!” I teased her.Laughing for that she started,”Hey the moment I saw you in the station yesterday I fainted as my memories took me to my previous birth.I saw a life with you in those few moments! That is what I told you now.After I woke up,I searched for you in the station,but you were’nt there.I was more shocked than you when I saw you in my coach! When you climbed to the upper berth I saw the scar in your hand which confirmed you are my Rahul”!

She was almost in tears by this time and it was time I start trusting her memories as even I had the same thought when I saw her,when I heard her voice..as if I had a relation with her! She kissed her fist involuntarily(you see it is her mannerism that attracts her to me) and was contemplating.After being numb for sometime she asked,”Did you notice the mole beneath my nose?” “ Do u feel something seeing me kiss my fist?” These words jolted me and all of a sudden I started fearing the worst.I asked,”Are you a mind reader?” She was delirious,”So these things still excites you?..Haa??” I trembled again in my words,” what do you mean by ‘still excites me’?” In a pure girlish tone,she replied “ Rahul…these excites you in your previous birth too..” My inner voice said “Ayoo Benny you have not yet changed man!” and I blushed!!!

It was hard to actually believe in rebirths and at the same time it was hard not to believe after all this! She was silent for some time,which gave me time to think what was happening all this while? I was puzzled at her making so many attempts to make me realise that I was her boyfriend the last birth.What was she going to achieve in this birth through that? I just felt I must understand her feelings and give her some time to get back to reality. If she is very clear in her thoughts,well then I have a beautiful girlfriend waiting,or else it is just another passing cloud! A typical boyish decision!!

“So where must you get down?” she enquired atlast.I revealed that we passed the station,where I had to get down and that I’m coming along with her to drop her at her house.”So you thought I have gone mad na” she bantered!!! Her smile has always been her forte and I have already started to fall in love with her. So it is time to start flirting as I replied “No..I’m just wondering how I ended up with you in this birth also” “Oieee..” she said in an excited tone and started laughing! Atlast I asked “Hey you..whats your name?” She continued to smile and winked as she quipped,”So now…you want my previous birth name or this births? “ ;-) We smiled and the smiles lasted for eternity as in her words the life,which we ended abruptly in our previous birth continued here on earth!

The two words my friends won’t relate me with-“ History” and “Date” for they know how good I’m at both ;-) But when it is “Date with History” I’m sure, I will be the first one they would think of. I can still recollect even the silliest of those moments,which happened in my life so far.Now don’t think I have a great memory power for only I know the nightmare I had clearing my history paper, remembering those good-for-nothing dates and years. But still, I date my history with those treasures I have treasured so long- diaries, which I have written for almost a decade now. And yeah..I’m still treasuring!

Diaries-One of the best companions for your life time,with characters etched in it which time can’t erase, pages of truth, hitherto unrevealed, chapters of unsaid love, blossomed friendship, hard decisions taken,resolutions scribed,days mourned by despair and those glorious moments worth savouring for generations…! It has it all..all evergreen and beautiful..My best friend for a life time ~ my diary!

It was during those days at school,when we blindly do whatever our class teachers tells us to do and it was one such act I started when I entered my class nine...Yeah class nine and those days,I hardly had any big things to write about and my habit of writing diary would have been dead,if not for that moment of failure.No surprise I failed my first History exam and I still know the pain with which I wrote my diary that night.It was a night of embarrasment,shame,tears and ofcourse a big decision…the decision I must say changed the rest of my life..I decided that my diary should not see any more failures and I started to work realy hard.I started to fear failures,which triggered hardwork and eventually success. As a school student,dairy writing taught me honesty(as u can’t lie in your diary),respecting privacy,discipline(as I sat at night regularly to write) and improved my memory (as I jog my memory to recall the events of the day)

After some serious schooling,college life gave the fresh air needed and I promise I can’t forget any moment spend there.Atleast my diary wouldn’t allow me to do that! Right from the first smile at college to the final cry during my farewell,every moment has been inscribed !!! ~ My train journeys,those birthdaybash,exams,tours,bunks,movies,friends intro,first love,canteen “kadalai’s”,culturals,symposiums and about that “someone” special whom we always have close to our heart!

I must say this habit was quite infectious,as some started to write hearing from me. But many stopped inbetween,as they found their privacy was at stake,as they feared if someone in their family may read it and who knows he\she may end in trouble.Now I must thank my family for being so nice as they respect my privacy,that I dare to keep my diary in my open shelf ! You know I’m very sure they havn’t read my diaries yet or else how will I be at home still ;-) Jus kidding!

Writing diary,which started as a class activity grew into a habit,then a friend and now it is my life…my life of memories! I have shared with it even the secrets I don’t dare to tell my bestest friend! It has seen the ups and downs of my life,shared the happiest and the saddest moments… I have this regret anyways…It changed me into an introvert in some ways…Those emotions which I wish I told my family and friends directly were just written ” Sorry machi”…”Love u da”…”Thanks sis”. But I’m loving it this way now!

Yeah..my dairy has it all..in black and white- all the ingredients for a 'masala' Bollywood blockbuster- stories,emotions,characters,love,masti,fights in it..But there is no audience still for my "Autograph":- ( But yeah…I hope to get that “someone” soon with whom I can share my past life –“someone” who can enjoy it reading with a smile,excitement and ofcourse some envy ;-) Is that “someone” listening ?? ;-)

It's about me,me and only me!!!

Cheers!!!It’s party time! I just wish I had a bottle of beer in my hand so that I could run to my balcony and shout, “I’m the happiest man in the world”. It is raining outside and every drop of rain is enjoying this moment with me. The sharp spark of lightning makes me smile, and roar of the thunder gives me a chance to dance! Yeah..I’m happy..I found it.. I found my love!!! It is time I must accept that I’m finally in love. It has taken me so many years to understand this. But thank God atleast now I understood how beautiful it is to be in love. Yeah..it is better late than never and now I’m enjoying this feel!!! I consider myself lucky as it is next to impossible to get someone like that..so genuine, gentle, caring ,loving and I can’t stop smiling writing this here. I must thank my stars for being with such a human being for a long time who is always willing to help others, love people without bounds, always the reason for others smile, reason for someone’s dream, reason for someone’s prayers and at times reason for other’s envy too ;-) Of course, only time will help one to realize, who the best person for him is and I know it now,after these many years !

The days after my college life would obviously be remembered as the worst days of my career. It was the time when my friends started to chase time to find a career for themselves and I started missing people a lot. It was tough to accept and face the harsh realities of life. The recession had its say on me, as disappointments became the order of the day and the going was getting tougher. It was then I found there was someone who was always with me, who motivated me when I needed and helped me move through the tough passage of my career. Just words can’t describe the amount of inspiration I needed to keep myself moving during those days and I found someone who always backed me for my ideas and smiled at the silliest of my jokes. I found a reason for my life, atlast !!!

I don’t know when I fell in love or what made me fall in love. Of late I started loving that smile, voice, cherub face and that caring heart! I feel it is time I go for a date..for my first date..I’m quite excited planning for that. I haven’t decided the place yet, but I always had a great fascination for a date at a beach during the sunset and a romantic dinner. So I might go there, to spend more time with me, to learn know more about me, to realize and understand me better. Yeah…Atlast I’m in love with myself and my life.. I’m loving every bit of it now.

It is a new kinda feeling as I’m aware I haven’t loved myself so much before. Of course, I’m no- saint and even I had my own shortcomings. Yeah… There was always an other side of me, which I tried not to show off to people or just didn’t want to acknowledge. I hated myself for being like that..To fake, pretend and be good. But I found doing that was detrimental to my growth as an individual. I needed to change.. change for the good. So I became a mother to myself, and I started to care for me a lot. I worked on my deficiencies and at the end, I found myself better than many people, whom I have met. I started to love myself, for what I’m and I bet u guys, it is best feeling on earth. Life is moving on from birth to death, the earth is rotating in a circle, we hardly do anything for these to happen. The only thing life demands us is to get back to reality. When we do that, our hearts starts to do what it is assigned to do-LOVE..Love yourself. And when you start to love yourself, you start to love your fellow human beings. Then, just imagine how beautiful the world would be !!!

A great writer of yesteryears aptly said,"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance"..I have started my romance!!! How about you guys?? Are you ready for a date with yourself??

.... Inspired from a true story..

This is my first fictional story. So cricket bat throwers and tomato throwers get ready! You will be into action pretty soon ;-)

A sense of déjà vu crept as I stepped into my college after six long months for my Graduation day. It was a nostalgic start to the day meeting old class mates, enquiring about them, reeling stories for not being in touch and faking promises to be in touch! Graduation day-The most satisfying day for any graduate..A day of hope..The world opens up and we enter into it with greater aspirations than when we entered college. Yeah it was a day of celebration of my sacrifice..the recognition of my talents, friendship and comradeship..culmination of my hardwork,the support of family and friends, signification of the obstacles overcome and goals attained!

The stage was set for a grand occasion! It was scorching heat outside that made me sweat even inside an AC auditorium. The dignitaries arrived to enlighten the stage. The solemn function began with a prayer followed by some inspirational speech by the Chief Guests! I was getting slightly nervous as my moment of glory neared. After few minutes of waiting, it was my turn to bask the glory as my name was called to get the degree. My friend, next to me, patted me and I entered the stage. Quite nervous, I bowed in front of the dignitaries and received my hard-earned degree! Next was my Kodak moment! Thousands of thoughts ran through my mind as I walked down the stage to occupy the seat assigned to me… My family, friends, faculty. Thanking all those benevolent hearts, which helped me reach here, I would have forgotten her, before which her named was called onto the stage!

My thoughts flashed back to the first day of my college life. The day when I first saw her in that sandal colored salwars, clasping her hand with her dad’s, smiling nervously to the new friend she got. I must say it was love at first sight, though I had no belief in that! There was this nudge inside that kept saying to me at that very moment that she will be mine someday. An image of her in my arms flashed inside my mind. I could not help myself stop smiling. Somehow, my inner voice warned me to fear for the opposite. I was circumspect as I had a break up just a few days before I joined college with my ex-school mate. So it took a few days for me to speak to her, after which I understood our similarities stopped with being in the same class and same department. We were poles apart in our characters. She was an introvert,coy,studious,beautiful girl. Sadly none of these words suits me!!! But as it goes, opposite poles attract each other. Yeah I mean that. Very soon,I felt she has become quite close to me than never before. She started sharing even the silliest of ideas and the freakiest of secrets with me. I sensed that we were on the process of building a lasting relationship!

I must say the fun and the enjoyment in the first couple of years of our college life can’t be matched with those in the succeeding years. By the time we entered the second year, almost everyone in our department knew we were in a relation. That was the time when I realized there was something, which spreads faster than a forest fire, and it was gossip! But we both never gave a chance for our friends to settle them with that being a gossip alone, as the number of times we both met outside on weekends increased, so did the number of hours over the phone! During this period, there were many tantalizing moments when I was about to tell her that I loved her, but the fear of losing a beautiful relation always stopped me doing that! Even now after hours of being with her, I seriously didn’t know if she loved me? Then, I really wished God created some area in the brain which could help guys read girl’s mind, though not the otherwise;-)

Our friendship found no hurdle in between until we found the going got tough in our third year when the pressure to deal with our academics and career increased. Our daily chats became weekly chats. Weekly meetings became a rarity. Of course, we were into a lull phase and suddenly a thin wall of separation has been built. I feared the worst! But then came our mini project time, when we both were coupled to do it. I don’t know with what intention my lecturer paired us, but we were not complaining, though many were envying ;-) We suddenly found more time as we were working together for the project. Those days gave me a chance to know her very well. I was convinced I would not get a “better” half than her and was waiting for the right time to propose her.

The mini project was almost done by now. We had the final presentation the next day. During the wee hours preparing for the project presentation, there was a so-called-forward message from her, which sounded like a girl telling something romantically to her boyfriend. You blame it on my hormones or lack of grey cells, I replied to the forward saying, “I seriously wish u said this to me”. Only after sending that message did I realize, I have done something silly and was waiting for her reply! The next second I got it, which said “What? Are you serious?”:- ). I was confused about the reply, as the message had a smiling face at the end. Having got a blind confidence, I replied, “I seriously meant that”! without knowing how she is going to react. Her reply “We have our presentation tomorrow. Prepare well for that. Good night” was like slapping my face,but then,it reminded me of my presentation and I got back to my studies again.

The next day, after the successful completion of our presentation, we were on the way back home. Having left with no other option, we were to board a crowded bus to reach our destination. We were almost crushed inside the bus and now, she was almost in my arms with her hands firmly holding mine. I thought I could quiz her and asked “What does your reply, which you send me yesterday means?” She, acting smartly questioned me “What does your reply to that forward means?” I never expected I’ll be put in such a situation by her. But then, I needed to respond now..respond honestly! So I bend down, to her ears and whispered, “I meant I love you so much”. Her reaction was surprising as she smiled and said ” I knew that”. It was really teasing and I whispered again “So?.. you love me too??” to which she looked up and said “Do you think I’ll say no?” and hid her face beneath my arms out of her unusual shyness! I just wanted to jump, jump and jump but if I had done that inside that crowded bus, I would have been kicked off. Then,we spend some speechless moments inside the bus and got down at our place.

After a few days into our relation, we started to visit each other’s house quite frequently and everyone including our friends saw our chemistry really working! I can boast saying that whenever and wherever we went together, we were the cynosure for others eyes.It was the time when my final year begun and plans for a final year tour started. I relished the dream of being with her for 10 straight days, but she was initially reluctant to come for the trip. Then after days of coaxing her and her parents, she made it. But little did I realize what is in store for me! Hmmm…This tour sowed the seeds of separation for us. I really din’t know what she expected out of me.I felt she was too possessive. She did not like me mingling with other girls in my department. She cried at will to make her things happen. I tried to help her everytime, but then.. it was going overboard. To say the least, she spoilt the happiness of what should have been a fantastic tour for me! Suddenly you may feel,I’m too harsh on her. But that is the truth. She started avoiding me for reasons,only God knew!

The days after the tour were horrible. I never knew our love life would be so short-lived as she showed no signs of carrying forward. One day I thought I should break the ice and spoke to her.But what I received was a cold blooded insult. I was petrified! This was not the girl, whom I loved without bounds and aspired to continue with. Time was running out for me to make amends for the obscure mistake of mine as our farewell was announced! But to my surprise she was least bothered to speak to me even on that day. I was literally heart-broken! Umpteen thoughts of being betrayed, cheated grew fast, on what was already an emotional day! I really expected her to speak something for she was the only relation I longed to carry forward in my life! But it wasn’t to be!

Before all these thoughts clogged my mind,my convocation day came to an end. Let me confess here. My love for her has not diminished even a bit even after the humiliation I suffered at the end of my college life.May be the memories she gave me over ruled the embarrassment! I must take the blame for not keeping in touch with her after we parted some months ago. It was already six months after our farewell ended! I was very keen to meet her before the function started,but I did not see her.But I made it clear I should meet her after the function got over as I needed to renew our relation.I was sure the wound would have been healed by now and I was sure we will be together soon !

As I got out of the hall, the first person to congratulate me was her. I was shocked a bit as I never expected her to talk with me first, given the streak of bad run we had! We exchanged pleasantries. I was feeling good and was convinced that we would be on track soon! We started to walk towards the lawn, which has given us lots of unforgettable memories. She sounded very pleasant, may be because I’m hearing her voice after so long ;-) Before all the excitement subsided, I was in for another shock, when she waved hand at a guy who alighted off a car.He came near and hugged her. Before I ask what is happening she introduced him to me as “He is Rahul, my husband” !!!

I knew I was a certified graduate today, but felt I need to learn a lot.. a lot about the enigma…GIRLS! I returned with my friends who were equally shocked, as she cared a zilch about informing about her marriage to any of her class mates ;-(

So let the throw-show starts ;-)

Check out my other short story - One night @ the call center