I’m really sad writing this, as my predictions for this year IPL standings (the previous post) has gone horribly wrong! Deccan chargers have come from nowhere and are now tipped for a podium finish, while Chennai is making a mess of the plethora of talent available. So dropping my astrologer work for a while, I thought I could do something more interesting.. yeah, to be the voice of IPL. I was glued to my television sets for almost all the IPL matches to learn something about IPL commentary. Hmm..at the end of the day I just realized that it was more tough to be an IPL commentator/anchor than being a normal cricket commentator!!Here I say why IPL commentating is tough and also a few tips if you are aspiring to be an IPL commentator!

1. Gone are the days when Geoffrey Boycott would scream when Sachin hits the ball over the long-on fence “What a huge six is that!”.IPL commentators, who are very grateful to the persons who pay them,scream “That was a DLF maximum”!

2. Their gratefulness to the sponsors doesn’t stop there. Whenever there is an inside edge for a boundary or a simple catch taken, commentators acknowledge that as a Citi moment of success.Who knows with the number of sponsors increasing, days are not far when one can hear

That was a Vodafone chota run

Wow..That was a Sri Krishna Sweetly timed shoot

That is Gillette razor edged to the boundary!

3. When there is a lull stage in the match, our commentators getting bored start thanking the sponsors again “We like to thank the sponsors DLF,KingFisher,Citi..bla bla… “ Getting overboard with the same dialogue every innings and every day:- (

4. Oh! The next horrible thing is IPL anchors must be ready to peep into one’s dressing room, oh! Sorry dugout here, and chat with team’s coach or physio and ask some insane questions. When a tense match between Kolkatta and Mumbai is going on and Kolkatta is on the back foot,the anchor asks John Buchanan,coach of Kolkatta “So are you supporting Kolkatta or Mumbai now??”Don’t be shocked if John gives a slap on the anchor’s face!

5. Leave that for a tinge of innocence! The worst thing is that when IPL anchors go for a chat with foreign world class players who are on the bench for that game, because only 4 foreigners are allowed to play. Adding oil to the already burning fire the anchor asks “Being a world class player yourself, why are you not playing today and how is it sitting on the bench??” Pity that player!

6. I think IPL commentators are ordered that they should not speak,but to scream most of the time.The other day I saw Ravi Shastri yelling during the toss “Welcome Cape Town”. May be he was trying to make his voice audible to the entire city of Cape Town and not just to the stadium!

7. And yeah,whenever Dhoni’s or Warne’s face comes on the screen during a tense match,there comes a cliché “He is a cool captain..brilliant captain”.May be it is the commentator’s curse both the captains are going thr’ a lull phase!

8. Having the IPL in South Africa,commentators are getting used saying this quite often than not “It has been raining here since morning and grounds men are working hard to clear the outfield. Hopefully we’ll have the match soon”. They say this, even after knowing the match would be a wash out!

9. There are some weird moments when the commentator hypes that the match is heading for a thrilling finish when every Tom,Dick and Harry knows it is not. They justify their statement saying “Cricket is a funny game” forgetting who really is funny.

10. Finally,being a IPL commentator you must be generous enough to woo Mandira saying “Mandira..You look beautiful today”, no matter what the costume she is wearing! ;-)

There are lots more I wish to tell why IPL commentary is such a tough job, but before that I need a strategic time-out!!!

Wishing IPL commentators a Citi moment of success!!!Cheers!